"A Bittersweet Memory"

Date: August 30th, 2023

 Hey there,

So, today marks 3 whole years since we said goodbye to Grandma. It's weird how time can feel both fast and slow at the same time. I've been thinking about her a lot today, and I guess I just needed to put my thoughts down. 

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The hospital, the beeping machines, the way she looked - it's all still so vivid. It was hard, you know? I don't think anything really prepares you for that moment when you realize someone you love won't be around anymore.

These past years have been a whirlwind of emotions. There were days when I felt like I was okay, like I could handle it. And then there were days when it hit me all over again, like a ton of bricks. I guess that's just how grief works.

I've been finding comfort in memories. The way she used to make her famous "gulai ikan patin tempoyak", the stories she told about the good ol' days- those little things keep her close to me. It's funny how the smallest details can carry so much weight. 

College life has been a distraction, for better or worse. There are moments when I'm caught up in assignments and I almost forget about the pain. But then there are quiet moments, like when I'm walking back to my dorm at night, and I can't help but feel her absence.

I think what's been getting me through is the lessons she taught me. She was tough, in a quiet and loving way. She showed me the importance of kindness, strength, and cherishing the time we have with people we care about. It's like her influence is still guiding me, even though she's not here.

As I sit here with her favorite candle lit, I'm thinking about the light. It flickers and dances, just like the memories that come and go. I'm letting myself feel everything today- the sadness, the love, and even the gratitude for having had her in my life.

Wan, I miss you more than I can put into words. These past years have been a rollercoaster, and I've grown in ways I never expected. I wish you were here to see it, but I know you're watching over me in your own way.

Here's to you, Wan- for the love, the laughter, and the impact you've had on all of us.

Until we meet again.